The Deplorax or: The Lorax Goes Hollywood (poem)

05 November 2024

Home

by Gar Smith

07 March 2012

Gar Smith, environmental journalist, amused us with "My review of The Lorax (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)"

My name is the Lorax and I speak for the trees.
So how'd I get sucked up in Hollywood sleaze?
My message was lost in the Stremulous Stream!
Even Swomee-swans told me to "Get with the Team!"

The Grinch (who stole Christmas) got all the attention
Why TV? Why Movies? Why all this Big Mention?
Because he's defeated, so Whos can start shopping!
But me? I'm ignored because I'd stop chopping.

So, how come the hokum? Why tell kids to drive
Their parents to buy a Mazda CX-5?
'Cause I am the Lorax! I push SUVs!
(And also IHOP's "Mac n' Cheese & Trufula Trees!")

I once scorned the Once-ler and all his pollution.
But now I've been shown there's another solution:
Grabulous Greed from a thneed is a hoot!
And now I am rolling in Bar-ba-loot loot.

The Humming-fish now know that Rodeo Drive
Is my new habitat and it's here that I'll thrive.
My new movie's loud and it's filmed in 3-D
(Dumb, Dumb and Dumber, between you and me.)

Instead of just talking, let's shout, scream and hoot.
Let's make so much noise we could deafen a Snoot,
Snatch pratfalls and stunts from the Done-before Basket
And pluck our clichés from the Done-to-Death Casket.

I'm a celebrity now meant to prowl upper classes.
My moustache is waxed and I've put on dark glasses.
I party at Hard Rock and dress incognito
(I can scrunch down and hide behind Danny DeVito.)

So pour me some vodka with Trufula juice
And please never mention that guy, Dr. Seuss….
Excuse me! That's Spielberg on line number one.
Love ya, babe! Call me! So long! Gotta run!

* * * * *

credit Gar Smith

Gar Smith edited the Earth Island Journal for its founder David Brower, the first executive director of the Sierra Club.
Gar's website is Environmentalists Against War.
Enjoy Gar's other articles on Culture Change:
Nuclear Roulette: new book puts a nail in coffin of nukes. The book came out in paperback last summer and is now being prepared for hardback.
and Climbing a Bikeway to Heaven: Bob Berry Remembered

Email this

Comments (5) Add Comment

..., As far as I'm concerned, this critique definitely d

March 09, 2012

As far as I'm concerned, this critique definitely does not apply to the original cartoon version of the Lorax, with A.S.Geisel's inimitable art-work characters (and in the "sing-along" version, with its own unique subtle musical messages). To the contrary, in my mind, THAT Lorax remains a profound allegory of modern human nature and its impact on the larger ecology, one as applicable to today's predicament, as it was in the early 1970s (after all, what has really changed since the first Earth Day?) So, I will continue to show the Lorax, to great effect, as a capstone summation in all my college courses on human and systems ecology.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

..., Well, I think that it is about time that someone ca

March 10, 2012

Well, I think that it is about time that someone calls it for what it is. Although the message is good and planting trees is what we should all be doing, we just planted 35 shrubs/trees in our backyard, there are many who will see this as the desperate attempt at indoctrination that it is, while many people profit over making other people feel guilty.

An casino-en-ligne will allow you to win as much money as you can as long as you are willing to gamble.

NathalieY

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: -1

youe than you, today you are you,that is truer than true

March 28, 2012